


the doctors thoughts

by PhantomsSoprano



Category: Doctor Who
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-13
Updated: 2020-08-13
Packaged: 2021-03-06 06:01:16
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 625
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25878583
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PhantomsSoprano/pseuds/PhantomsSoprano
Summary: thoughts the doctor has while locked away in his confession dial





	the doctors thoughts

I was over 2000 years when I finally regenerated into its first regeneration of a new cycle given to me in my final hours of life on Trenzalore. At the end of that battle I phoned her, my impossible girl to tell her to help him... me my future self not to be afraid. She did this for me, my Clara. My impossible girl put aside her own fears to help me with mine.

We had countless adventures did she and I. Even when she chose to fall in love with P.E. and spent more time between teaching and him and her travels with me. Danny Pink wasn't half bad for a human and though for a time I thought he had to prove himself to me that he was good enough for her I never once let on that it hurt that she hid him from me until she had no choice...

Then came the time where my own kind imprisoned me within my own confession dial 4 and a half billion years replaying the same thing over and over again the only thing I had to comfort me in all that time was an empty room with a fireplace and a cobwebbed portrait.

Clara.

Even in death she was there for me a comforting presence a guardian and protector even when I didn't know she was there. Every lifetime in every regeneration Clara was there saving me, watching over me preventing me from doing something I would have regretted. Now I am alone and soon I will once again regenerate and chance my face and form and though the last face i would like to see is long since dead and gone she is there forever inside of me in my memories and in my broken hearts.

Broken hearts which hold so many thought and feelings for all of those i have known and loved but never had the courage to say it to them. And yet I know they knew all along. How many times have i failed those i was supposed to watch over, friends and companions alike but none more than her, Clara who i took out of her last moment of death so that she could see the truth and who i gave a stolen tardis to and a companion in Ashilder someone else whom i failed at the most crucial moment.

I would hope that wherever she is now that she had learned to forgive me my many failings. Of things left unsaid and undone, of chances that will never come again. How old and tired I am will I remember her after the change probably not for the first few days but yes I will remember my Clara no matter which form or which companion(s) are along for the ride.

The time has come. Where I must die and I rise anew once more.

(The Doctors speech from the end of the episode seemed to me a fitting end for my writing this short piece.)

''One more lifetime wont kill anyone, well except me... You wait a moment Doctor, lets get it right. I've got a few things to say to you. Basic stuff first, Never be cruel, Never be cowardly, and never ever eat pears. Remember hate is always foolish, and love is always wise.

Always try to be nice, but never fail to be kind. Oh and you mustn't tell anyone your name. no one would understand it anyway, except, except children. Children, children can hear it. Sometimes if their hearts are in the right place,and the stars are too. Children can hear your name. But nobody else. Nobody else ever, laugh hard run fast, be kind.

Doctor I let you go.''


End file.
